I am still a bit nervous about jinxing it but tomorrow I get on a plane that will take me home. And if the universe is kind – when we get to KL we will be able to home quarantine.

The sad part is that I am making this trip so we can pack up our condo for another international move. In another twist in the Covid tail it makes sense for Nick to be relocated to Australia – this was always an option at this point (we have been in Malaysia for six years) but for me who hasn’t been back since December 2019 it feels like a story that was interrupted.

People have commented on my saying “I’m going home” and even I wonder a bit at myself after nine months living in our new house and eleven months into a permanent job (23 months altogether). But my youngest son probably put it best when he said a few weeks after we moved in “its not quite your’s yet is it – it doesn’t have your stuff” And he is right -because all the things I have used in his lifetime to make our place feel like home, the pictures, the cushions, the vases, even my folders of torn out recipes and favourite baking pans – are in another country,

I have a list of what will go into the moving boxes being shipped to Brisbane and hopefully a list of what can be in our air freight allowance that can come back to New Zealand. (Otherwise I will be paying for extra bags for the foreseeable when the borders open) So that will probably change soon as I dismantle the home we made and reassemble it into new ones. And in having these choices I never forget how much privledge is involved.

When we got the news that we couldn’t extend our lease beyond the 31 October and it seemed that we might have to have our condo packed remotely I remember saying that I think Covid had finally broken me. And then New Zealand went into lockdown due to Delta. Throughout lockdown the pieces got stitched together – my flights and MIQ had been booked since early June but I had fully expected to have to change or credit them again. Throughout lockdown my Facebook memories were full of other moves, and closing other doors – we seem to have a habit of moving in August :). On the eve of this journey I feel incredibly grateful that I get the chance to physically “shut the door” on our KL home.

Covid slices into our dreams – but it also helps us build new ones. I find myself reluctant to share this journey in the knowledge that so many people are struggling to get back (both to Aotearoa and Malaysia). The other thing lockdown reinforced for me was how blessed we are in our new house, which without Covid we probably would never have bought. And I also suspect the move back to Brisbane for Nick has been facilitated by the different ways of working we have adopted. On the other hand – all our children are sad as well – the many plans that have been cancelled over the last two years for shared experiences based in Malaysia have slipped away (although Nick and I occasionally comment that we could go back)

I still have a credit for another return flight to Malaysia – which may give me a chance to get back and say good-bye properly to a number of friends who I may not see this time around due to Malaysia’s restrictions and people being away. The story isn’t finished yet.